Holiday Inn Express

Signing in to my "Facebook" account this morning, I was given a healthy dose of reality right to my face. My friend Samantha Brandolini, of Penn State fame, ever so eloquently said, "Ben, I thought you were keeping a blog...not a workout diary." Ouch. On this dreary morning the truth stung like a fresh band-aid coming off of Bigfoot's chest. Given this "revelation", if you will, I will make an effort these next two weeks to write more about my thoughts and emotions regarding this unique journey. Be forewarned-I, myself, am not even too sure what might come of this.

I visited Duke this weekend and had a fun time trying to explain what the hell I'm doing with my life right now. Though I found out about my tryout last time I was at Duke, I was in a bit of a state of shock and uncertainty and while some friends heard what I would be doing, not all did. My conversations with those friends were quite entertaining. I frequently had to explain what skeleton racing actually is...and my best description of it is "Luge, head first, with a running start." For the people who didn't know what luge was, I likened it to bobsledding without the cover. For the people who didn't know what skeleton, luge, or bobsledding was, I walked away because they were apparently very un-American in that they had never watched a Winter Olympics. The general follow-up question would go along the lines of "Have you ever done it before?" to which I so wittingly replied, "No, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night!"

It was fun though trying to explain it all and spread the word about the sport. One of my goals, if I make the team, is to really try and market the sport and increase the fanbase and overall interest in skeleton racing. I definitely think that the lack of professionalism and organization within the USBSF is directly tied to their lack of success in creating a substantial fanbase. The ineptitude over at the USBSF office is mind-boggling. In my brief history with them, I have been less than impressed. My first encounter was when I e-mailed them asking when they were going to have more outdoor track tryouts. They never responded. My next encounter was when I sent in my application with the athletic resumé. It took them 4 1/2 months to respond. Once I sent in my first batch of paperwork, it took them a month to send a confirmation e-mail. The second batch-no e-mail confirmation. I then e-mailed them asking for confirmation and it took them 6 days to respond. I realize that I am in no way a priority for their office but my encounters with them has still left a bad taste in my mouth and I'd be utterly shocked if I found out this unorganization was only in their dealings with me. I feel that if they got some organization within their office and had an athlete or coach really try and market their sport than they would have tremendous results. This is where I feel I could make a difference if I make the team.

Another question that I frequently got this weekend was if I was nervous, excited, scared or anything like that. I'll be honest, there are definitely moments where I get a little apprehensive about the actual skeleton racing itself. I'll be going around 70 mph with my face but a few inches from the ice and little more than a helmet and some pads to protect me. Ice isn't exactly a "giving" solid like rubber is so the danger is very evident. Those apprehensive moments, however, are brief and pretty few and far between. I was unbelievably excited for a long time about my tryout but I'm way past that feeling at this point. I really just want to get up there and see what I can do-see how far my training has taken me and how far I can take myself. I have no doubts I'll be able to do it but I want to know how well I can do it.

The one thing I am a little scared of is how this will affect my whole life. I'm right now looking into where I can go to school next year and beyond and am trying to plan that out. It's unnerving knowing that there is a possibility that all of my plans will have to be thrown out the window to pursue a dream. But it is a dream, and dreams are worth pursuing. That, I am certain of. When I'm focused on the here and now, I realize that, more than anything, I want to be back in school full time. When I'm focused on my life in general, I realize that not giving this skeleton "thing" my all would be a regret that I could not stand to live with. I'm not putting skeleton ahead of school, or school ahead of skeleton, I'm just saying if I have to choose between the two, it won't be a quick decision. Life comes at you fast, and as weird as this sounds, jumping on a metal board and going 70 mph face first is just my way of slowing down life for awhile.